Monday, August 31, 2009

The dark side of trust

Just as there are two sides to a coin, can there be two sides to trust? Is there a good side and a bad side, or 'dark side' as Martin Gargiulo suggests in his article here. He's talking about the trust placed in Madoff, now serving a 150 year prison term for defrauding investors in a $65b scheme.

I think we have to understand what was it investors were trusting him for, and how were they drawn to him to trust him. When we begin to understand that trust is our ability to RELY on a person, company, product or service to deliver an OUTCOME to us, and that OUTCOME is to:

  • meet or manage our EXPECTATIONS
  • meet our NEEDS, and
  • keep the PROMISES made to us

...then we must explore what was driving these people to Madoff. They obviously EXPECTED that he would manage their money well, and make them money. They were driven by the NEED for either SAFETY and SECURITY, or ESTEEM (making money makes them feel good about themselves). What exactly he PROMISED them, I'm not sure, but GOOD RETURNS would have to have been one of them. He made IMPLICIT PROMISES to them based on his background, who he was, and well he had performed in the past.

Whilever the PROMISES match our EXPECTATIONS and our NEEDS, we are drawn to the person making the PROMISES. So, yes, there is a trust relationship. It's usually formed at a subconscious level, with little understanding as to how the trust was formed.

BLIND TRUST comes about when well meaning and 'trusting' people place their trust very willingly in someone who PROMISES to meet their EXPECTATIONS and NEEDS, and does not think about whether this person has the capability of delivering on those PROMISES.

SCEPTICAL TRUST can go too far the other way, where the PROMISES are attractive, but we don't trust the person behind them, so we procrastinate and often either decide not to trust, or have constant doubts, and can miss opportunities.

Striking a balance between these two is key to trust working for all concerned. Knowing that there are certain qualities that make up a trustworthy person, and checking against those before we trust is also key. Those qualities are:

  • Open and Transparent
  • Honest and with Integrity
  • Genuine and Authentic
  • Courageous and Decisive
  • Reliable and Proven
  • Caring and Empathetic

A truly trustworthy person displays all these qualities in balance, and yes, it's hard to achieve that all the time. For someone like Madoff, there will have been one or two of these qualities that were out of whack, out of balance, that should have been a warning sign to those trusting him with their life savings.

Sadly, this is happening throughout the financial markets, and is something I'm personally moving to shake up. We need to bring about a greater understanding about how and why we trust people and organisations, and then equip people with the necessary skills and knowledge to make proper assessments about whether to place their fragile trust in that person, organisation, product or service, and if so, to what extent.

Gargiulo talks about people 'putting all their eggs in one basket', an analogy we are all used to, but interesting when you know that I use an egg as the metaphor for trust. We simply shouldn't put all our trust in one place unless we are damn sure they are going to protect it, and we should be checking in to make sure our trust is safe there - not in a sceptical, suspecting way, but in a way that simply acknowledges that trust is fragile and needs to be handled with care.

Is there a 'dark side' to trust? I think the dark side exists only because we have not shed enough light on the whole subject.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Let's talk about trust

I find it fascinating that so many people talk about trust. Every day I receive Google alerts from around the world where people online are talking about trust.

It's in the news every day - 3 days ago it was India and China needing to develop 'strategic trust' over blocking development aid.

Every day there are issues in politics

Can we trust them?

Then there are literally thousands of chat rooms, blog posts, Facebook and Twitter comments from individuals claiming they can no longer trust their partners, their children, their parents or friends.

What I haven't seen, and what I'm building, is a number of places and ways to get some answers, to become active and move beyond talking about trust to actually doing what we all want to do and that's to build trust, to restore trust, to repair broken relationships, to get trust back into a failing business world.

A big job? Absolutely!! But I'm dedicating my life to it, so watch this space. Better yet, join me.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

It also starts with me

I was just thinking as I completed my last blog that I hoped readers realised that I included myself in the 'It starts with you' comment.

My whole journey developing my expertise in trust was due to a wakeup call from my son. Check out an introduction to my presentation on The truth about trust in business, where I share the conversation that shook my world - http://www.youtube.com/TrustEntente.

You see, it starts with me, too!

Vanessa

It starts with you

I was out with my son the other day and we walked past a pile of rubbish.

'Why is this place such a mess?' he asked, as he waved his hand towards the rubbish.

'Because you just walked past it, that's why.' I replied.

'But I didn't put it there!' He was quite incredulous.

'No, but if you picked it up, what a difference that would make.' I said, with a smile.

It reminded me of how often we wave our hands in disgust at things going on in the world. How easy it is to point the finger of blame, but not take a moment to ask ourselves if:

1. we might have played a role in it somehow, and
2. we could do something to make a difference

I am constantly amazed at the number of trust issues that come up, from all around the world. In the US right now, it's all about US Senators admitting to extramarital affairs. In the UK, it's politicians abusing expense accounts, in Australian politics it's lies and accusations about emails. And that's just trust issues in politics, and there are plenty more of those!

Every day I receive alerts about trust issues, breakdowns in relationships, betrayal, lies, people constantly crying out because their trust has been betrayed in some way. It's sad.

But here's the thing. I challenge you to look inside yourself, for we have all been, at some point, the one responsible for breaking the trust of another. It is easy to wave the hand, point the finger at others, but if we look, just for a moment, and think about it, maybe we're contributing to the global decline of trust.

Just as we are all slowly beginning to do our bit to help the environment, recycling our paper, turning the lights out, finding more economical ways to travel and reducing our carbon footprint, we also need to each be doing our bit to reduce the rubble, the collateral damage, that a breakdown of trust causes in all of our lives each day.

If you want a more trusting society, be more trusting yourself. If you want your children to develop trusting relationships when they are older, trust them. If you want your shareholders to trust you, be trustworthy. If you want your customers to trust you, extend your trust to them. If you want your employees to trust in your leadership, trust them.

It starts with you.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Frustration - a clear sign that trust is breaking down!

I have been having a real experience with my own model for trust (as I do every day, actually), but in this instance it has been around technology.

Let me explain - As I travel a lot more now, I decided to take the plunge and join the techno cool group with my new iPhone. Unfortunately, my Outlook Calendar and email can't sync with my iPhone due to some way I have my emails set up. My email service provider was unable to correct it, so at the advice of a friend, we eventually decided to set up a Gmail account, which works nicely with the iPhone.

Simple? Nooooooo. I have had every problem under the sun, including now, because I email a lot, and attach documents, articles, proposals, and cc others, Google have now decided that I must be spamming people and have booted me off my email for 24 hours til I 'settle down my activities!!' Prior to that, it was allowing some emails and failing to deliver others. I've had deadlines to get proposals out, get my article to Readers Digest on this year's most Trusted Brands from their survey, and so on. I think I've turned a little grey these last few days, but trying very hard to keep my cool and act with decorum.

So, here's what has happened from a trust perspective:

1. My expectations - as with most things, I always assume everything will be easy. I get caught out on this one a lot! My mantra for many years has been 'It can't be that hard!' I assumed in this case that getting the whole phone thing working would be relatively easy and I'd scoot off to the US shortly with the technology down pat.

2. My needs - I'm driven by Esteem and Self Actualisation for most things. I don't like looking stupid, or incompetent, and I just want to get on with getting my message out there, and living my purpose

3. The promise - the guy in the Vodaphone store assured me that the iPhone would easily sync with Outlook, and I'd be up and running in no time. My friend also assured me that this would be the best thing I've ever done in my life.

The outcome? A lot of unmet expectations, needs and unkept promises = broken trust = frustration

What now? Unfortunately for me, I can't go and sit on a mountaintop and refuse to use technology, so I'm forced to trust it to some extent, but I do it reluctantly and with much fear and trepidation. Thankfully, I'm also the eternal optimist and am convinced that it will all work out for me and technology, and my friend, will be redeemed!