Saturday, May 3, 2014

International Day of Trust - 3rd of May

Today is the International Day of Trust - A day for you to:

  • Reflect on the whole concept of trust
  • Think about who is trusting you and why
  • Consider how well you are nurturing that trust
  • Think about times when maybe you haven't been that great at handling that trust with care
  • Ask for forgiveness for the times when you might have broken the trust of others

Why an International Day of Trust? 

When you think about it, every single relationship, whether in business, in our personal lives, in our communities, is based on trust. The amount of trust that is present then has a significant impact on how productive, happy and blessed that relationship is. 

When trust breaks down, though, it is one of the most painful experiences we have as humans. It is reflected in:

  • Every Marriage breakdown
  • Every Resignation
  • Every Customer Complaint
  • Every Crime
  • Every Abuse
  • Every Violent behaviour
  • Every War
  • Every Frustration
  • Every Disappointment
  • Every Angry word
So doesn't it make sense then for us all to wake up and recognise this?

Shouldn't we all be much more aware of who is trusting us and why?

Shouldn't we all be taking more care of that trust?

Just think for a moment, for a day, how different our LIVES would be if there was more trust.

Just think for a moment, for a day, how different our MARRIAGES would be if there was more trust.

Just think for a moment, for a day, how different our COMMUNITIES would be if there was more trust.

Just think for a moment, for a day, how different our WORLD would be if there was more trust. 

The International Day of Trust - Remember: Trust is Fragile, Handle it with Care.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

All I want is some clarity

Whether it's clarity about our job, our future, a big decision we have to make, or our purpose on this earth, we all want 'clarity'. If only we could have the answer we are looking for. If only the direction was clear and we knew exactly what we are supposed to do, what the next step is.

Let's face it, confusion is frustrating!

So, where does this expectation for clarity come from? Does it actually help to have clarity? Is it possible to live peacefully without it?

We live in a world that is constantly encouraging us to set goals, to be clear about what we want, when we want it, taking control of our own lives and destiny. Have you heard the saying 'If you don't set your own goals, you'll end up being part of someone else's?

I've been really big on goal setting in the past. I used to buy a new journal at the beginning of each year, and I'd find a quiet cafe somewhere, open up my journal, write the year in big numbers on the first page, and begin mapping out my life, setting my goals and plans - financial goals, health and fitness goals, social goals. You name it, I had a goal and a plan for it! It gave me clarity about my own life. I was in control of my own destiny - right?

Well, just the other day I was looking back over some of those yearly journals, and I've got years and years of them. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry! I'm not sure I've achieved even a quarter of the goals I set for myself! It would be very easy for me to look at all those unmet, unachieved goals and feel like an absolute failure.

But I don't. I've done different things. Life has happened around me and pulled and pushed me in all sorts of different directions.

Here's the thing. My goals didn't factor in my husband, Matthew, dying and leaving me a widow with a baby to care for. They didn't factor in a later failed marriage that saw me losing assets I'd spent years building. They didn't factor in my father dying of heart failure, my eldest sister dying of cancer, my son packing up and moving to New Zealand to pursue a dance career, my Mum dying of cancer, my husband, Peter, suddenly needing heart surgery just a few weeks ago......

But my goals and plans ALSO didn't factor in amazing friends and family who came to my rescue when I needed help. They didn't factor in a change of career that has seen me travel the world. They didn't factor in Peter coming into my life at a time when I'd decided I could go it alone. They didn't factor in all the opportunities and changes that are occurring right now as I've cleared the decks to care for my husband.

Clarity - sure, we can create it for ourselves, but it doesn't last.

I've learned to live in a state of wonder, at peace with not knowing. I still make plans and set some goals, but my mother used to always say 'Hold all things loosely.' I've learned to do that, to expect the unexpected, but to also know that everything will work out, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time.

For me, I believe that God has a much bigger plan and purpose than I could wrap my head around. I believe that is the case for all of us. In fact, if He revealed the whole plan your head would probably explode!

My peace in the uncertainty and fog comes from knowing that it's all OK, there's a bigger plan at play here that I cannot understand and I cannot see. That, my friends, is the ULTIMATE truth about trust.

Clarity - it's over-rated.

Trust - now that's what we need.

'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.'  Proverbs 3:5-6

Thursday, October 3, 2013

The symptoms of a breakdown of trust - Trusting yourself

Yes, it's been a while, and yes, I've been frustrated with myself for not getting on with the job of blogging! Sometimes there is solo much I could be blogging about that I get stuck and can't move. Lots of very kind people email news articles, notes, magazine clippings, about all sorts of things, saying 'You should write about this!' Yes, I should, and yes, I am working my way through my strategy of what I do, what I can do in the time that I have, with the resources I have, that will have the most impact. 

One of the projects that I tried to kick off a few years ago that has popped back up is TRT Global - which is Trust Response Teams. This is teams of people who are part of the International Movement of Trust, who have done the training to become accredited coaches, or Ambassadors for Trust, who can help by responding to issues that concern them, but in a positive, trust-building way. This is the only way I can replicate myself and properly pay attention to the myriad breakdowns of trust around our world on a daily basis. 

While that training continues in different countries, and while we establish the foundations of TRT Global, I need to get on with the business of blogging, sharing my own stories and helping more and more people discover the power of The truth about trust! 

Trusting yourself, your individually crafted and designed purpose for being here on this earth, at this time, in this place, with this family, in this culture, in this country....seems to be one of the hardest things to do, for most people around the world. I do hope that this next series addressing the symptoms of a breakdown of trust, the horrible feelings we have when we have, yet again, lost trust in ourselves, helps even one person to learn to trust themselves more. 

Watch this space!


Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Leadership in Business Symptom #6: Confused: Not clear about purpose and mission

It was clear once, but now it’s just a blur.  You used to know what you stood for, you would have fought for it, but now you can’t remember why you are doing what you do.
That sense of confusion, of blurred vision, is extremely unproductive, it’s frustrating, and demotivating – but it happens to the best of us.
Just like knowing when it’s time to get your eyes checked, it’s important to know when it’s time to get clarity about your vision, your purpose, your mission in business. And that time when it’s all getting blurry and when you are losing focus.
It’s interesting, I find, that one of the first questions that children ask is ‘Why?’. As human beings, we have an innate need to understand the reason behind things, the purpose, the ‘why’. Depending on how that question was answered when you were a child will have an impact on how often and to whom you now ask that question today.
There are a number of great questions that you need to spend time pondering, sitting and answering in a journal, or taking a long walk and really thinking about. They include:
1.    What are you really good at?
2.    What do you love to do?
3.    What do other people say you are good at?
4.    What really gives you a buzz?
5.    What did you love to do when you were a child?
6.    What do you want to be remembered for?
7.    If money was not an issue, what would you spend your time doing?
8.    What do you believe God’s purpose is for you?
I believe we are all born for a purpose and we are given a mission – trusting that, being clear about what we can expect of ourselves, how that can meet our needs and what we need to promise ourselves and keep, is critical to gaining that clarity and clear vision for where we are heading.
But remember that we may not always understand, it may not always be clear how something will work out, and that’s where trust kicks in at a whole new level!

Monday, April 15, 2013

Leadership in Business Symptom #5: Unmotivated: Lacking a sense of achievement

It really does suck – when you are busting a gut and you just seem to be going around in circles. When you look at your ‘to do’ list at the end of the day and there are more things on it than when you started the day!
When the alarm goes off you hit the snooze button, and then lay there trying to think of the most valid reason to not go to work today – except you are the Leader! You’re supposed to be the one motivating everyone else. You know people are watching you, but you are conflicted. Do you ‘fake it’ and walk in with a smile and pretend it’s all OK? Or do you reveal all, and risk scaring your people?
Often what happens is we get out of alignment with the goals and purpose of the organisation. We either forget why we joined in the first place, or something has changed – with them, or with you, or maybe both.
Sitting down and really reflecting on what this organisation is all about, what its purpose is, what it is trying to achieve, and then determining if you share that common purpose is the first step to finding the solution to your motivation, or lack of!
As leaders, when we share a common goal, a common purpose with the organisation we are leading, then we can determine the following:
1.    What are their Expectations of me that help them achieve that?
2.    What are my Expectations of them that help me achieve that?
3.    What do they Need from me that helps them achieve that?
4.    What do I Need from them that helps me achieve that?
5.    What do they need to Promise me to bring it all together?
6.    What do I need to Promise them to bring it all together?
It’s all about ENPs® - Understanding what we Expect and Need from each other, and what we can Promise each other to make it all work. This is the dynamics of trust. If it doesn’t stack up, if you simply can’t Promise to meet their Expectations and Needs of you, then frankly, you are in the wrong place. But when this is aligned, when you can build trust on a common ground, then your sense of motivation and achievement will flourish.