Dr Phil's betrayal of trust?

I don't profess to know the in's and out's of the recent Britney Spears drama, but what jumped out at me in the news reports was the fact that the Spears family was reportedly claiming Dr Phil had 'betrayed their trust' by making a public comment about Britney following a visit to her in hospital.

The question here is what were they trusting him for? If they had trusted him as a friend (as he is reported to have known the family for a few years), it appears he acted as any friend would - he went to visit her. If they were trusting him as someone who could help her, he made an attempt to do that, too.

When any of us have this feeling that someone has betrayed our trust, and we all have them at different times in our lives, what we need to reflect on is 3 core things:

1. what did I expect?
2. what did I need?
3. what did they promise me?

Often what we become aware of is that our expectation may have been unrealistic, our need/s may have been something that the other person had no ability to meet (ie we trusted the wrong person), or that they promised something and did not keep it. It might be a combination of all these things, or it may be just one that applies. In any case, not meeting these ENP's as I call them, is actually how trust breaks down.

In Dr Phil's case, the Spears family may have had a need for privacy, and expectation that anyone involved would respect that, but Dr Phil may never have actually promised that (albeit he would be bound by confidentiality due to his position). And from what I've read, it doesn't look like he actually disclosed anything other than the fact that he had been there to help her.

Wherever possible in our relationships, we need to get into the habit of clarifying and articulating our expectations and needs, and making sure that the people we are involved with and interact with are able to promise to meet those. If they can't, then we're trusting the wrong people.