I’ve been there. Literally on my knees, or sitting just like this picture, in complete despair. All the planning, the strategizing, the getting people on board, and then the whole thing just seems like it’s falling into a heap. You start to question yourself, your ability to lead. Your life seems to be collapsing in on itself. What do you do?
Personally, I pray! J Then I start to work through a series of questions. The thing is, if it’s all falling apart, then the trust that people have in you as a leader, and/or in your project, or business, is breaking down. Now let me state very clearly here – this is NOT a personal attack. There are things that are not stacking up and the ‘wall’ is breaking down (see The Simple Truth about Trust to visually see what I mean by the Wall).
So, here’s what I unpack and try to understand:
What did they expect?
What did I expect?
Where did they come from?
Were they realistic?
What do they need?
What do I need?
Is this the best way to have that need met?
What did they promise?
What did I promise?
Have those promises been kept?
What needs to change?
One thing I can promise you is that this process will take your out of the despair and will help you see the whole situation objectively. Focusing on ‘the relationship’ between you and the people you are leading, rather than on any one individual, yourself included, is a healthy way to get to the bottom of what is going on.
The other thing I can promise you is that you will begin to see why things are the way they are. Once you understand that, you can get up off your knees, lift your head out of your hands, and start serving again, restoring trust in yourself and rebuilding trust between you and the people you lead.