Monday, January 18, 2010

Can you forgive and still not trust?


I was reading a blog post called Unforgiving and Unforgivable which was exploring the concept that men are more unforgiving than women. It poses the observation that in the event of infidelity or betrayal, a man would end the relationship, but those same men expect forgiveness if they were the ones who committed the offence.

What I have found interesting myself in exploring the whole concept of trust and forgiveness is this:

1. Women care more about trust than men
2. You can forgive someone and still not trust them. Women tend to do this more than men. Just because she has ‘forgiven’ you does not mean she trust you.
3. Men and women will move on from a relationship only when they believe their Needs will be met elsewhere. Men are more confident that they can find other ways to do this. Women will stay in a relationship that is ‘bad for them’ because, in some way, it is meeting a core Need for them (e.g. the relationship may be meeting their financial needs and they do not believe they can meet those themselves.)
4. A breakdown in trust is the biggest killer to relationships

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