The brands that win are the ones you can trust

OK, that's probably not news to you, but what continues to amaze me is that very few people still understand what we mean by 'trust' and how you go about building a trusted brand.

Here's the thing - it is not about the ad. It is not about the latest marketing campaign. It doesn't matter that it was great and you won an award for it. It doesn't matter what it looks like or the feeling it creates, or even the number of customers it attracts.

That's all a part of it, of course, but if you are measuring the success of your marketing on the number of people it attracts, or the recognition you have achieved, that is not a TRUSTED brand. That's a recognised brand.

A trusted brand is one that delivers on the Promise. One that meets the Expectations that have been created. One that meets the Needs of the market.

This means it is not just about you, but it's about everyone in your organisation.

Get that right, and you will build a truly trusted brand.

Vanessa

Restoring trust in a messed up State

Kristina Keneally has a job on her hands. Being Premier of NSW on its own is a job many people simply would not put their hand up for. Stepping in at a time when the State has been run into the ground, when its constituents have lost trust in State Government and no longer know who to trust - now that's a job that is going to require some very special skills.

One of the things that happens when trust is eroded is that people build up negative expectations based on their previous experiences. We all do this when things just don't work out the way we Expect. In fact, what happens is that we no longer believe the Promises that are made to us. 'Things will be different. I'm here to sort things out' etc, are simply a waste of breath because everyone is sitting around thinking 'Sure. That's what the last guy said, and the one before that, and the one before that....' Because their experience is negative, because the Promises that were made in the past were not kept, cynicism sets in and a new Expectation is formed - the story everyone tells themselves, in order to keep their trust intact is 'They always break their Promises, and they are all as bad as each other'. Now, there are exceptions to this rule, there will always be the few who will give them a go, but the majority will sit back and wait to watch them fail.

Sounds pretty awful, hey! But we all do it, and you are probably very aware that we all do it. The challenge for the one attempting to build and restore trust in that environment is to:

1. recognise that it is very real and that is the environment they are dealing with
2. know that making statements to convince people that things are different is hopeless
3. work at shifting the negative expectations first - that means slowly proving them wrong
4. know that people don't like to admit that they were wrong, so they cling to their negative expectations even if they don't like that about themselves
5. be patient, and consistent - keep proving, bit by bit, brick by brick, that you are serious about restoring the trust that has been broken

I'm putting in a call to Kristina's office and sending her a copy of 'The truth about trust in business' - hopefully I can help her in some way with her enormous challenge. Fingers crossed!

Even Celebrities Have Trust Issues

Well, I guess I really can't stay quiet on this one, as it's everywhere, and it's all about TRUST!

One of the interesting things about issues of trust is they make a HUGE MESS! Whether we know the details of what was going on or not, once something is out there, particularly something as big as Tiger's issue of infidelity, our expectations of that person change. We begin to doubt everything they say. We don't know what to believe, and even if they promise something different, or claim that nothing happened, it's too late - the negative expectation has set in and negative expectations are very, very hard to shift.

Some people won't care. Why is that? Why does this sort of thing really disturb some people and not others? It depends on their values and their needs, and what they were expecting in the first place. Some people will have written Tiger Woods off altogether, and won't want to know anything about him any more. Others will shrug their shoulders and get on with their own lives.

The stress, embarrassment, and reputational damage to Tiger will have taken a few years off his life, that's for sure.

What we all need to avoid is this kind of thing happening in our personal lives, and also in our businesses.

A breakdown of trust hurts and even after the initial mess is cleaned up, it leaves stains and scars.

An Obituary printed in the London TimesToday

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;

- Why the early bird gets the worm;

- Life isn't always fair;

- and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Mother's Promise to her Son

This still sits on my son, Lachlan's bedside table, framed and in pride of place where he can see it when he wakes up every morning (he put it there, not me!). I wrote this for him, framed it and gave it to him for his birthday about 7 years ago, and it is as true today as it was then.

A Mother's Promise to her Son

To my dearest Lachlan,

I promise I will:

Always be honest with you
Protect you from harm when I can
Give you freedom to learn and grow
Listen to your dreams with interest
Listen to your fears with concern
Hold you when you are sad
Laugh with you when you are happy
Share with you my experiences and lessons
Expose you to many wonders of this world
Teach you humility and compassion
Encourage you to be confident and love yourelf
Help you understand what you don't
Rejoice with you when you do
Watch you grow into a wonderful man
Always love you!

Truth or trust and Tom Cruise's new film

"Knight & Day" will follow Tom Cruise's Milner, a secret agent who goes on a blind date with unlucky-in-love Cameron Diaz's June. Trapped in a journey to protect a powerful battery that holds the key to an infinite power source, they become fugitives and they must figure out whether to be guided by truth or trust. Directed by James Mangold, the action comedy movie is scheduled to be released on July 2, 2010. (Full story here)

I read this on one of my many Google alerts on truth and trust and thought this was interesting. What is suggested in the wording here is that there is a difference between truth and trust. In fact, they could be assumed here to be opposites.

Truth is as it suggests. We all want it, but sometimes it's confronting and it can hurt. Hiding from it is cowardice, and it gets you in the end!

Trust, on the other hand, from what I've found in the many times I talk with people about trust, is that it is often perceived as something you just do, blindly, with hope that all will be OK. That's what I call 'Blind Trust', but there is a better way to trust. Too many people blindly trust and don't take the time and take care to determine who and what to trust and when.

Blind trust most often leads to disappointment. Informed trust, brought about by understanding, is far less likely to cause the same level of disappointment and pain.

So, rather than deciding whether to choose truth or trust, choose both!

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How to break down the trust of your customers quickly and easily

It would have been funny, if it wasn’t so sad. Rome airport, in desperate need for a cup of tea (Earl Grey, of course). Right next to our departure gate was a Chef Express, with some tables and chairs. The sign outside was clear – table service only. No takeaway. ‘That’s fine,’ I thought. I don’t want to wait in the queue anyway.

We sat down at the table. One young girl was rushing around looking flustered. ‘Table service only’ she said. ‘Yes please, can we have a menu.’ She practically threw the menus on the table. The lady at the table next to us glanced over and raised one eyebrow and gave us a half smile. She looked like she knew something we didn’t know.

We sat and waited for the young girl to come back to take our order. She flitted around the tables, wiping one, stacking some plates on the sideboard, mumbling to herself. Eventually she came over and we placed our order. She rushed off. It certainly was Chef Express from that perspective.

The lady next to us caught the girl’s attention and asked for her bill. She huffed and disappeared again, reappearing in a flurry and dropping the bill on the table. Our tea came, without milk. My husband Peter got her attention as she was rushing off. ‘Excuse me. Could I have some milk please?’ She gave him the death stare, flicked her hair and marched back into the kitchen.

The lady at the table next to us laughed. In broken English with a beautiful French accent said ‘I wouldn’t wait if I were you. She took 10 minutes to being me some sugar!’

Peter really wanted some milk, so each time the girl came past, he waved to her and pointed to his tea ‘Milk please?’ He said each time. She completely ignored him, coming back to other tables with their drinks and disappearing again. Peter drank his tea black.

A few people attempted to sit at the tables with their takeaway, only to be shooed away by the dragon lady. We watched with mild amusement as she continued rushing about, mumbling to herself, clearly not enjoying her job.

The lady next to us handed the girl her bill with a 5 Euro note, and waited for her change. No sign of the girl returning. In a rush back to scare off some more customers, the lady got her attention and asked for her change. At that point the girl almost screamed at the lady in Italian and marched off again.

The lady looked at us and said, with that lovely accent ‘She does not want to give me my change. She thinks I should give her a tip. Huh!’

The girl came back and slammed down a rather large pile of 1 cent pieces and said ‘Here is your change! It was hardly a decent tip anyway!’

OMG! Did she really think anyone would give her a tip when she was behaving so badly? Did she have any idea how uncomfortable and awful an experience her customers were having because of her behavior?

One of the biggest challenges for business is to recognize that one person in your organization can completely ruin your efforts to market and build trust with your customer base. Every person in your business needs to be actively building trust with your customers, not destroying it.

A cry for help from a young girl

She was so cute. Maybe 7 or 8 years old. She was sitting next to my husband, Peter, as we flew from Frankfurt to Moscow recently. At the suggestion of her mother, sitting across the isle, she asked Peter if he would play a game with her. They played a few rounds of hangman. I think she won!

Peter asked her what they were doing in Moscow and she said she thinks her Dad had work there. She asked what we were doing, and Peter explained that I was going to present at a conference about trust. ‘Do you know what trust is?’ Peter asked her.

‘No, I don’t think so.’ she said. Peter asked ‘Do you trust me?’

She looked at him for a moment, frowned and said ‘I probably shouldn’t. I don’t know you.’ We explained that it was OK because her Mum had suggested she play a game with him.

She sat back in her seat and closed her eyes. Peter and I began talking. Then we looked over and in the book where they had been playing hangman she had written ‘Help…..help……help…….HELP….HELP. NO HELP’.

What the heck was that. My heart leapt into my throat. I remember those pleas as a child myself, when I needed help and no-one would listen. In a vain attempt I would want to reach out to anyone, a stranger, anyone who would listen. But then I didn’t know what to say. I just knew that things were not right and that I was scared in my own home.

How could we help this little girl? The announcement was made by the cabin crew that they plane was preparing to land. Peter quickly reached over and wrote in her book ‘Can I help you?’ She looked at him with eyes that were so deep and so sad, shook her head and closed her eyes.

Peter closed her book and helped her pack up her things. We sat and looked at each other. What do you do? I’ve never felt so completely helpless in all my life. Was it my place to probe? Was I just applying my own experience to her and misreading her pleas? Maybe she just didn’t want to go to Moscow and leave her friends, or maybe there was something more sinister going on.

What it has done is renewed my desire to help those in real need. To help find a solution for broken trust and fear in the home. To help educate mothers to know how to recognize the signs and then know what to do when they suspect something. To help women in abusive relationships, trust themselves enough to get out. This is where my heart is, and this is where I need to be.

Sure, we will continue to help build trust in the business world, but what is sad is that most business people don’t actually recognize that they need it. Individuals do. Mothers do. Communities and Nations do. I’ll go where I am most needed and respond to the cries for help.

Where do YOU think building and restoring trust is most needed?

Complete this short survey – I’m looking for 10,000 votes to help me dedicate my time and resources where they are most needed. Please help.

Can trust be bad for you?

On my recent trip to Russia to begin to establish Entente Foundation’s pilot Trust Program in schools there, I was confronted with an interesting comment from a Russian school student.

One of the teachers who attended my presentation in Russia last year had already begun posing the question of trust in her class, asking students to define trust and to discuss it amongst themselves and at home.

She presented to me (in Russian, translated by an interpreter in English for me!) some of the discussion points and comments from her students.

While there was a general consensus that they felt that they needed trust, they also agreed that it as not something they or their parents had spent much time considering.

What disturbed me was that one student was quoted as saying ‘I think trust is a bad thing, because when you trust people they let you down and it hurts.’

When I say it disturbed me, what bothered me was that I think this is a commonly held view, certainly from what I see with all the Google Alerts I receive about trust issues around the world. But there is an essence of truth in what this student said. Yes, people let us down when we trust them. It happens to all of us, and we all actually do it to others. That is one of the core truths about trust. The real issue is that we are blindly unaware of this, and do not have the skills to determine who we can trust and when, and how to make sense of when trust has been broken.

That is exactly what I am all about – bringing a new awareness to the power and fragile nature of trust, and taking that into schools, communities, homes and businesses, so that we can change this attitude and recognize that trust is a good thing, but it needs to be handled with care.

Thank you – ‘You are the wind beneath my wings’

I’ve just recently spent an amazing week with an amazing group of people. I am so grateful for Fusion International for inviting me to speak at their inaugural Global Transformation Conference for Entrepreneurs. I’ll actually share through my blog a number of stories that have emerged from this conference, and introduce you to some of these people I know regard as true friends and allies.

However, right now, I thought I’d share a few testimonials from these people, representing 9 countries, following my presentations on The truth about trust.


‘This course has shown me where I have derailed through my life by ripping the scars open and into the light. Thank you so much Vanessa, now I can heal my scars by the grace of God.’ Anne T

‘The only way I can describe the workshop on trust is that it made me face my weaker and darker self head on, while giving strength to my best self. In an amazing week, it was the most powerful moment for me.’ David C

‘I am touched by the process of trust, simple but profound. Thanks so much for what you have done to my life.’ Francis T

‘This has been one of the most profound and important seminars I have ever attended. It touches on the foundations of who we are, how we relate to others, how we manage our business and how we serve God. Thank you, Vanessa.’ Gordon E


I’d just like to publicly thank each and every one of the participants of the conference for restoring my faith in my work. The last few years have been an amazing journey, but it has had it share of mountains and valleys, or joy and tears. There have been times when I have almost given up, wondering how so many people can turn their back on such a fundamental issue and can ignore the amazing benefits of building and restoring trust in their own businesses, homes and communities. It turns out I’ve just been speaking to the wrong people, or at the wrong time.

While sharing my story and knowledge of trust, I was able to help just about everyone in that room, but at the same time their openness and now their desire to help me spread the message has lifted me higher and has given me new hope.

In the words of Bette Middler, you are the wind beneath my wings. Thank you, and God bless you all.

Procrastination or Protrustination

Below is a discussion that I came across on a LinkedIn Group 'Working Moms' written by Emma Grey Director at WorkLifeBliss and Director at Inspiring Writers

I'm writing a workshop about time management at the moment.

So, I Google something about beating procrastination and notice an interesting link. I read that, do a self-test about internet addiction, check email, update facebook about my time-management progress, do a quiz on which 80s song describes my life (Girls' Just Wanna Have Fun) then look through 117 photos posted by a girl I went to school with, with whom I can't be sure I ever exchanged a word in real life. I check the news and weather, take the dog for a walk as it might rain, then I read an e-newsletter my friend sent me from her work which includes the 'interesting fact of the day' that some people have the ability to read and detect colours through their hands and feet, and next thing you know I'm on a virtual goose-chase of scientific and paranormal websites about extraocular vision.

Which brings me to this post about procrastination...

My Comment:

It really depends on how you look at it, if your goal is to maintain balance in your life, stay in touch with friends, expand your knowledge and get some exercise each day, then I'd say, Emma, you were not procrastinating at all. You were, in fact, acheiving all you set out to acheive. The key is to be really clear about who we are and why we are here, what our purpose is, and then trust that every experience is moving us towards that. If you are unclear, unaccepting, or do not trust that and fight against it, then you could be procratinating and not even know it! I've met plenty of busy people with 'good jobs' who are truly procrastinating because they are unhappy and are avoiding their true calling. Maybe I should create a new term to 'protrustinate.'

BRIC embracing trust

Reading the Financial Times on my way from Germany to Kuala Lumpur, I saw a comment about BRIC, a concept by Mr. Jim O’Neill, Chief Economist at Goldman Sachs. BRIC, for those who haven’t heard of it, stands for Brazil, Russia, India and China, grouped together on the basis that they will overtake the world’s richest economies by 2050.

Interestingly, two of these countries have already opened their arms and hearts to the concept of building and restoring trust – Russia through its schools, with a number of them about to pilot our ‘Building Trust Program for Kindergarten to Year 6 next year, and China through the launch of The truth about trust in business The truth about trust in business by Oriental Press, China’s largest publishing house. Brazil and India may not be too far behind them.

While there is no doubt these countries are accumulating wealth and rapidly harnessing the power of their own resources, they are also realizing something that the western world seems too blind to see – that the true power lies in a future built on trust.

The domino effect of broken promises

I was meeting up with some friends for breakfast the other day. We’d agreed to meet at 8.30am in the restaurant in the Hotel Cosmos we were all staying at in Moscow. It started as ‘Let’s meet at 8.00’ and turned into 8.30, which is late for me for breakfast, but I thought the later the better for them – at least I’d know they would be there on time.

8.30am sharp, I was in the restaurant with my husband, Peter. We sat at a table for 4 people, spreading our bags and coats over the chairs to reserve them. This was a busy restaurant and people would just lob up and sit at your table if it looked like it was available.

By 8.40am Peter decided to go an get his breakfast (it was buffet – self service). I decided to wait.

Two ladies came by and asked if the seats next to us were taken. ‘Sorry, we’re minding them for friends who are joining us soon.’ I said with a smile. The ladies wandered around the restaurant and eventually found somewhere else to sit.

By 8.50am I decided to get myself a cup of tea and something light, but I’d wait till our friends joined us before I would serve up a hot breakfast.

At 8.52am, while watching the door and looking at my watch, wondering where our friends were, a young girl came over and attempted to sit at out table. ‘I’m sorry, that seat’s taken’, I said and waved my hand in her direction. She picked up her things and moved on. Now I was feeling guilty.

The young girl wandered back over. ‘Truly, they are meeting us here. They are just running late.’ I said, shrugging my shoulders. She wandered off again, finding a seat just behind us.

‘How can they be this late?’ Peter and I were wondering. They were staying in the same hotel, so we knew they weren’t caught in traffic or anything like that.

At 9.00am I got myself some more breakfast. The two ladies who I first rejected kept looking over at our table and whispering something to each other. I could only assume they were saying dreadful things about us and how we wouldn’t let anyone sit near us.

At 9.15am we had finished our breakfast. No sign of our friends. As we had only just met them a few days before, we didn’t have their mobile numbers, and didn’t know what room they were in, or we would have tracked them down.

Then it happened. One of the two ladies came over to our table, stared at me and said ‘Hmm. minding seats for your friends, hey? I don’t trust you!’

I gasped. ‘But I’m the trust lady!’, I thought. That hurts! Two weeks later and I can still see her face and hear her words ringing in my ears. ‘But it wasn’t my fault!!’ I wanted to tell her. If I knew who she was, I’d find her just to tell her.

But it got me thinking (as many of life’s events do). There’s a domino effect to broken promises. We were taking action as a direct result of a promise made to us. When that promise was broken, it had a flow on effect to others that we were encountering and dealing with.

How often does this happen in business? In families? In communities?

How often does it happen in yours?

Epidemic of Global Anger

I read Caroline Myss's Blog post on an Epidemic of Global Anger http://www.huffingtonpost.com/caroline-myss/an-epidemic-of-global-ang_b_310209.html where she so eloquently says "Our deeper truth is that we are in the midst of a collective faith crisis but it isn't with God; it's with humanity itself. We can no longer trust our common sense or humanity to keep our species alive much less safe and healthy."

Sharing her views, we continue to work at ways to bring about a new awareness to the importance, power and fragile nature of trust. To remind people that we, as humans, must trust each other. It is how we function on a day to day basis. We have simply forgotten that as we go about our daily business, there are a string of people relying on us, trusting us to do certain things in certain ways, to say things, to provide, support, love,encourage and empower those around us.

I believe we have to go right back to the basics. To teach our children how to trust, and how important it is to be trustworthy. It is that message that I take to Russia in just over a week, to a school system that is, hopefully, open to teaching their children tolerance and trust through a program we are rolling out across the world through the Entente Foundation, starting in Australia and Russia.

I can only hope that if we can catch the next generation on a new wave of trust and caring for humanity, we may still have the bright future we all wished for our children.

Trust shattered - picking up the pieces.

Below is a letter which I wrote to Financial Review Magazine in relation to one of their articles posted on 2nd October.

I'm responding to a couple of pieces in Friday 2nd October's paper, namely 'A matter of complete trust shattered' and 'Compliance focus can stunt value', both of which are all about trust. On one hand we have a number of people who have blindly trusted and have had that trust betrayed, and on the other we have corporate boards who are blind to the fact that trust is the ultimate power source, and a loss of it their ultimate risk.

To those poor people who trusted Bradfield, my heart goes out to you. One of the things that you need to understand is the difference between liking someone and trusting them. Too many times we confuse the two and end up trusting someone we shouldn't have - they might be a nice person, but they were the wrong person to trust. You need to recognise that trusting someone is all about your ability to rely on them to deliver on your Expectations, your Needs and keep the Promises they made to you (what I call ENPs®). There are always warning signs when trust starts to break down, just as many of you reported (eg. information not to hand when they asked for it, Promised returns a little too good to be true). Sadly, you failed to listen to the warning signs until it's too late and your trust has been broken.

To directors on corporate boards, your focus right now should be on making sure your stakeholders can trust your organisation. What we have seen through the recent financial crisis is a lot of people being drawn to organisations that Promise big returns and big bonuses, but when the Expectations and Needs are not met, and when the Promises are not kept, everyone jumps. The financial crisis is, in fact, a TRUST crisis. It's not a debate about whether compliance is in or out, or a focus on business performance is in or out - the organisations that come out of this stronger and with a sustainable business model to move forward are those who focus on restoring trust with those shareholders, employees and customers who are right now feeling betrayed and broken.

Vanessa Hall - 'The Trust Lady'
Sydney NSW

What is Fear? An abscence of trust

This is a question that I found from the LinkedIn Group 'The Philosophy Network'

What is Fear? What causes fear and how do we overcome it?

Fear is an abscence of trust.

That is, if trust is our ability to rely on a person (or people), an organisation, or a product or service to deliver a specific outcome (my definition of trust), and that specific outcome for all of us is that we want our Expectations met or managed, our Needs met and the Promises made to us kept (what I call ENPs in my books and work), then fear is an INABILITY to rely on the same.

Where there is fear, there is a sense that my Expectations will not be met (or I don't know what to Expect), my Needs will not be met, and the Promises made to me will not be kept.

Because our trust is fragile, and I represent it as an egg (it can break that easily), we fear placing our fragile trust in something that may, or is likely, to cause it to break.

It is actually a very good warning sign that either the person, organisation or product/service is not right for you to trust, or that you have negative Expectations or are seeking to have too many Needs satisfied from one source.

University studies say employers can break promises - I don't think so!

Below is an article I came accross on LinkedIn, ofcourse with the article being about trust and not agreeing with what it said I commented back.

Break promises if you like but treat your workers well..
Promises are made to be broken – especially if you're the boss. Workers don't care so much about whether their employers deliver on specific promises, according to the latest research in organisational psychology. What matters most are the rewards and opportunities they end up getting, even if they were initially promised more.
Most psychologists have assumed that broken promises in the workplace spell serious discontent. But previous studies have tended to record workers' perceptions about such breaches, without determining what promises were actually made.
To disentangle perception from reality, Samantha Montes and David Zweig of the University of Toronto in Canada began by asking students to put themselves in the shoes of hypothetical job candidates.
Half the students were informed that the recruiter made seven specific promises – about bonuses, training, support with personal problems, and so on – while half were not. Then the students read about what had happened to the imaginary employees three years down the line, when the employer had delivered all seven inducements, five or them, or just three.
More than 550 students clearly understood the scenarios described, yet their perceptions of the situations were influenced more by the number of inducements given than by whether any specific promises had been made.

My Response
I read this article with interest, which quickly turned into concern. I believe these kinds of studies and their results have the potential to continue down the spiral of broken trust in a workforce that is already suffering. We are already seeing some of the lowest levels of trust in business around the world, so we certainly don’t need people believing it’s OK to break promises and contribute to that downward spiral.

Let me explain why I disagree with these findings and the subsequent statements:

1. Promises only matter to people if they match the Expectations and the Needs of the individual. We are all drawn to people who actually make Promises that meet our Expectations and Needs, and it is on the combination of those 3 things, what I call ENPs®, that we place our trust in others. Employers will often make general Promises in job ads and interviews that may not matter to some employees but will extremely matter to others. Some specific Promises made to one employee will absolutely matter and they will be drawn to them, other Promises will not matter at all and will frankly just go straight over their heads.

Example: If an employee is Expecting regular ‘on the job’ and external training, which fulfils a strong Need for Self Actualisation and constant learning, and they are Promised regular training, they will be very much drawn to that job, and will react negatively if that training is not delivered. It will be one broken Promise that could completely destroy that employees’ trust in their manager and the organisation.

However, if that same Employee was Promised a bonus, and they are not motivated by Safety and Security and money is not a major driver for them, they will still Expect it because it was Promised, but they do not Need it to any great degree. Therefore a broken Promise about a specific bonus will not bother them, they’ll be happy with whatever they receive – as long as they still get their training!

2. Most people will adjust their Expectations based on what they see going on inside or outside an organisation – difficult times, a downturn, a frugal manager, will all impact employees’ Expectations about the likelihood of initial Promises actually being met. We all adjust our Expectations subconsciously to protect our trust. This is, in fact, how most of us cope with politicians. We Expect that many of the things they Promise will not be delivered to the extent that they Promised, so we still maintain a sense of trust, provided our basic Needs are met.

3. If half-Promises are delivered and meet the lowered Expectations, employees will generally accept those if, and ONLY if, they still feel their Needs have been met.

What does this mean for employers? All employers must:

1. Understand the Expectations and Needs of their employees
2. Only make Promises that they are confident they can deliver
3. If Promises are made in good faith and things change, communicate the changes to employees – ie manage their Expectations
4. Be aware that those Promises made to employees where there is a distinct link between the Promise, the Expectation and the Need must be met, and if not, the trust will break down
5. Understand that you cannot make assumptions about what employees want
6. Know that only Promising and delivering ‘good conditions and rewards’ as Montes suggests will satisfy some employees, but definitely not all, and is a dangerous position to take for an employer that wants good performance and aims to be an employer of choice
7. Decide if they want to be a trusted organisation or not. There is no middle ground, and if organisations are not aware of how trust is being built or broken down, chances are they are breaking it down on a daily basis and are, right now, suffering the consequences of that breakdown.

If you agree with me, please feel free to follow this link and voice your oppinion:
http://www.linkedin.com/newsArticle?viewDiscussion=&articleID=69598386&anetScope=2139318&report%2Esuccess=PdmtybENV2mnc3t3p8JpWuFiB1ZhaD9OnKUphCsu7LRNRYTOK1wrHHO_rcDN0rVBb1wuxUyPL-SZ

Why do Marketing and Sales hate each other so much?

Whenever we do work with any organisation, we want to know what 3Rs goals do they want to achieve. What Results do they want? What Retention levels do they want to improve? What Relationships do they want to improve?

9 times out of 10, one of the key relationships that the organisation wants to improve is between Marketing and Sales. Why do these 2 teams hate each other so much? They both want the same outcomes for the organisation, don't they?

Both are highly Esteem driven - they want respect, recognition and don't take criticism too well. This also means they are not too good on accountability. It's easier to point the finger at someone else than to take responsibility for something not quite working out the way they planned. Because both teams are like that, they clash, big time! Neither one wants to back down, to admit that maybe they need to review their practices - that would be admitting fault!

Now this is a generalisation, of course, and we have certainly worked with teams that have been brave enough to work together, to sort out their differences and to work for the common good of the organisation.

The key thing is this: there needs to be a common purpose, a reason why these two teams should work better together. Unless that is established, clear, and agreed, you are pushing you-know-what uphill!

Once that common purpose is set, then the need to be absolutely clear on what they each Expect of each other, what they Need, and what they are prepared to Promise each other, and take accountability for that. They need to be able to TRUST each other!

Is that possible? Yes it is. And when an organisation can take the plunge and make that work, it delivers straight to the bottom line.

7 truths about trust every people manager needs to know

If you truly want to be a good, effective manager and you want your people to trust you, there are a few little (actually not so little) truths you need to know that will help you build trust with your people.

Why trust? Well, you are not going to get much out of your people if they don't trust you. However, we've proven time and time again that where there is trust in a team (and we actually define trust and measure it), there is also great performance - and that not only makes everyone work better together and feel better about being at work, it absolutely delivers to the bottom line (and that's really what most people in business want to get to).

So, here are the 7 truths about trust every people manager needs to know:

1. Your people are relying on you! The question is, what are they relying on your for? Trust is all about relying on someone or something to deliver a specific outcome. You need to know that they are not just there for the ride, but their performance as a team, and as individuals are directly related to how much they can rely on you, and it all comes down to 3 core things - Expectations, Needs and Promises (what I call ENPs)

2. Expectations are formed before they even start - what Expectations do your people have of you? Where did they come from? You will have created them in the job interview. The branding of the company would have created them, and so on. fail to meet their Expectations, and you have a problem on your hands.

3. People will always find ways to satisfy their Needs - we all do it, just mostly subconsciously. What Needs are each of your people seeking to have satisfied by you and by their work? Understanding these and meeting them is critical to your success as a manager.

4. You make Promises all the time - Yes you do! We all do. But when your people are relying on those Promises and you don't meet them, again, major problems. Being aware of what Promises you are making to your people is the start, and the minute you begin writing them all down, you'll be shocked at how many you make!

5. You need a two way contribution - many companies make a point of telling their employees what they Expect of their people, and what they Need, but very few find out what their people Expect and Need from them. The ones that take the time to follow a process of discovery and agreement (what I call Company Contribution Statements), are the ones that get great performance from their people.

6. Negative Expectations become self fulfilling - If you have people in your team who have negative Expectations about you and your company, you will have problems until you specifically address those. They become self fulfilling prophecies, and you don't need them. In fact, they will drag you and your team down.

7. You need to be a People Manager - too many good, technically competent people end up in a role where most of their time should be in managing people. If you have a team under you, you should be spending about 80% of your time managing those people to peak performance. It's what they Expect of you, and it's what your company Needs from you

If you want to know more, download the 7 truths about trust every people manager needs to know ebook, or eguide here.

Take care.

Vanessa

The dark side of trust

Just as there are two sides to a coin, can there be two sides to trust? Is there a good side and a bad side, or 'dark side' as Martin Gargiulo suggests in his article here. He's talking about the trust placed in Madoff, now serving a 150 year prison term for defrauding investors in a $65b scheme.

I think we have to understand what was it investors were trusting him for, and how were they drawn to him to trust him. When we begin to understand that trust is our ability to RELY on a person, company, product or service to deliver an OUTCOME to us, and that OUTCOME is to:

• meet or manage our EXPECTATIONS
• meet our NEEDS, and
• keep the PROMISES made to us

...then we must explore what was driving these people to Madoff. They obviously EXPECTED that he would manage their money well, and make them money. They were driven by the NEED for either SAFETY and SECURITY, or ESTEEM (making money makes them feel good about themselves). What exactly he PROMISED them, I'm not sure, but GOOD RETURNS would have to have been one of them. He made IMPLICIT PROMISES to them based on his background, who he was, and well he had performed in the past.

Whilever the PROMISES match our EXPECTATIONS and our NEEDS, we are drawn to the person making the PROMISES. So, yes, there is a trust relationship. It's usually formed at a subconscious level, with little understanding as to how the trust was formed.

BLIND TRUST comes about when well meaning and 'trusting' people place their trust very willingly in someone who PROMISES to meet their EXPECTATIONS and NEEDS, and does not think about whether this person has the capability of delivering on those PROMISES.

SCEPTICAL TRUST can go too far the other way, where the PROMISES are attractive, but we don't trust the person behind them, so we procrastinate and often either decide not to trust, or have constant doubts, and can miss opportunities.

Striking a balance between these two is key to trust working for all concerned. Knowing that there are certain qualities that make up a trustworthy person, and checking against those before we trust is also key. Those qualities are:

• Open and Transparent
• Honest and with Integrity
• Genuine and Authentic
• Courageous and Decisive
• Reliable and Proven
• Caring and Empathetic

A truly trustworthy person displays all these qualities in balance, and yes, it's hard to achieve that all the time. For someone like Madoff, there will have been one or two of these qualities that were out of whack, out of balance, that should have been a warning sign to those trusting him with their life savings.

Sadly, this is happening throughout the financial markets, and is something I'm personally moving to shake up. We need to bring about a greater understanding about how and why we trust people and organisations, and then equip people with the necessary skills and knowledge to make proper assessments about whether to place their fragile trust in that person, organisation, product or service, and if so, to what extent.

Gargiulo talks about people 'putting all their eggs in one basket', an analogy we are all used to, but interesting when you know that I use an egg as the metaphor for trust. We simply shouldn't put all our trust in one place unless we are damn sure they are going to protect it, and we should be checking in to make sure our trust is safe there - not in a sceptical, suspecting way, but in a way that simply acknowledges that trust is fragile and needs to be handled with care.

Is there a 'dark side' to trust? I think the dark side exists only because we have not shed enough light on the whole subject.

Let's talk about trust

I find it fascinating that so many people talk about trust. Every day I receive Google alerts from around the world where people online are talking about trust.

It's in the news every day - 3 days ago it was India and China needing to develop 'strategic trust' over blocking development aid.

Every day there are issues in politics

- Obama's broken promises

- Rudd's broken promises 

Can we trust them?

Then there are literally thousands of chat rooms, blog posts, Facebook and Twitter comments from individuals claiming they can no longer trust their partners, their children, their parents or friends.

What I haven't seen, and what I'm building, is a number of places and ways to get some answers, to become active and move beyond talking about trust to actually doing what we all want to do and that's to build trust, to restore trust, to repair broken relationships, to get trust back into a failing business world.

A big job? Absolutely!! But I'm dedicating my life to it, so watch this space. Better yet, join me.

Let's talk about trust!

It also starts with me

I was just thinking as I completed my last blog that I hoped readers realised that I included myself in the 'It starts with you' comment.

My whole journey developing my expertise in trust was due to a wakeup call from my son. Check out an introduction to my presentation on The truth about trust in business, where I share the conversation that shook my world - http://www.youtube.com/TrustEntente.

You see, it starts with me, too!

Vanessa

It starts with you

I was out with my son the other day and we walked past a pile of rubbish.

'Why is this place such a mess?' he asked, as he waved his hand towards the rubbish.

'Because you just walked past it, that's why.' I replied.

'But I didn't put it there!' He was quite incredulous.

'No, but if you picked it up, what a difference that would make.' I said, with a smile.

It reminded me of how often we wave our hands in disgust at things going on in the world. How easy it is to point the finger of blame, but not take a moment to ask ourselves if:

1. we might have played a role in it somehow, and
2. we could do something to make a difference

I am constantly amazed at the number of trust issues that come up, from all around the world. In the US right now, it's all about US Senators admitting to extramarital affairs. In the UK, it's politicians abusing expense accounts, in Australian politics it's lies and accusations about emails. And that's just trust issues in politics, and there are plenty more of those!

Every day I receive alerts about trust issues, breakdowns in relationships, betrayal, lies, people constantly crying out because their trust has been betrayed in some way. It's sad.

But here's the thing. I challenge you to look inside yourself, for we have all been, at some point, the one responsible for breaking the trust of another. It is easy to wave the hand, point the finger at others, but if we look, just for a moment, and think about it, maybe we're contributing to the global decline of trust.

Just as we are all slowly beginning to do our bit to help the environment, recycling our paper, turning the lights out, finding more economical ways to travel and reducing our carbon footprint, we also need to each be doing our bit to reduce the rubble, the collateral damage, that a breakdown of trust causes in all of our lives each day.

If you want a more trusting society, be more trusting yourself. If you want your children to develop trusting relationships when they are older, trust them. If you want your shareholders to trust you, be trustworthy. If you want your customers to trust you, extend your trust to them. If you want your employees to trust in your leadership, trust them.

It starts with you.

Frustration - a clear sign that trust is breaking down!

I have been having a real experience with my own model for trust (as I do every day, actually), but in this instance it has been around technology.

Let me explain - As I travel a lot more now, I decided to take the plunge and join the techno cool group with my new iPhone. Unfortunately, my Outlook Calendar and email can't sync with my iPhone due to some way I have my emails set up. My email service provider was unable to correct it, so at the advice of a friend, we eventually decided to set up a Gmail account, which works nicely with the iPhone.

Simple? Nooooooo. I have had every problem under the sun, including now, because I email a lot, and attach documents, articles, proposals, and cc others, Google have now decided that I must be spamming people and have booted me off my email for 24 hours til I 'settle down my activities!!' Prior to that, it was allowing some emails and failing to deliver others. I've had deadlines to get proposals out, get my article to Readers Digest on this year's most Trusted Brands from their survey, and so on. I think I've turned a little grey these last few days, but trying very hard to keep my cool and act with decorum.

So, here's what has happened from a trust perspective:

1. My expectations - as with most things, I always assume everything will be easy. I get caught out on this one a lot! My mantra for many years has been 'It can't be that hard!' I assumed in this case that getting the whole phone thing working would be relatively easy and I'd scoot off to the US shortly with the technology down pat.

2. My needs - I'm driven by Esteem and Self Actualisation for most things. I don't like looking stupid, or incompetent, and I just want to get on with getting my message out there, and living my purpose

3. The promise - the guy in the Vodaphone store assured me that the iPhone would easily sync with Outlook, and I'd be up and running in no time. My friend also assured me that this would be the best thing I've ever done in my life.

The outcome? A lot of unmet expectations, needs and unkept promises = broken trust = frustration

What now? Unfortunately for me, I can't go and sit on a mountaintop and refuse to use technology, so I'm forced to trust it to some extent, but I do it reluctantly and with much fear and trepidation. Thankfully, I'm also the eternal optimist and am convinced that it will all work out for me and technology, and my friend, will be redeemed!

The Global Trust Crisis

The media is calling it a Global Economic Crisis, but when I look around I see a Global TRUST Crisis.

We have simply forgotten how to trust. We have forgotten just how powerful trust is, how quickly it can break down, and the pain and destruction caused by a breakdown of trust.

What we are seeing right now is the consequences of greed, lack of accountability and selfishness of too many business leaders - all stemming from a lack of understanding of just how intricate and finely balanced the trust of all their stakeholders really is. They have broken the trust of the very people they were trusted to serve and lead.

It's time to take a stand. It's time to get a handle on what is really going on here.

If you are a business leader, or you run your own business, become a true leader and learn how to trust and be trusted. It is the true secret to securing your future.

The time to trust is NOW.

Survival of the trustworthy

Leo D'Angelo Fisher wrote for Australia's Business Review Weekly (BRW) February 5 - 11 2009, a piece on Survival of the Trustworthy, stating that 'Trust is the cornerstone of true leadership and managers who have it can move mountains.' He goes on to say 'Managers and executives who have earned the trust and respect of staff, who are admired for their fairness, empathy and integrity, will be the key to attracting and retaining an organisation's most valuable talent. Let's hope there are enough of these managers to go around.'

I couldn't have put it better myself. I actually know there are very few managers who know how to build trust – the ultimate skill to truly survive these difficult times.

In my experience, having dedicated my business to the sole focus of teaching leaders and individuals about trust, it’s an overused word that is grossly under-practiced.

Right now, organisations are breaking down trust with employees (those being shown the door, but also those left behind), customers, shareholders and the broader community. Understandably, difficult decisions must be made right now, but how those decisions are executed will make or break trust.

What leaders and managers need to remember is that everything cycles – at some point things will turn around and they will be re-hiring. When trust is broken, people hurt, and they tell everyone about it! The reputational risk is massive. The employees who are left have lost trust and respect for the leadership, and customers and shareholders are nervous.

Breaking trust is the easy option, and unfortunately one that too many leaders are choosing as the default. Those who choose to ignore its huge long term impact, do so at their own peril.

Building trust takes courage, skill and an understanding of its duality – its power and its fragility.

It’s trust or bust!

Website to track promises

I receive a daily Google alert linking me to all published stories about trust, promises, relationships, and so on. When I got this one, I had mixed views.

Link to the full story here http://your4state.com/content/fulltext/?cid=50522

Website Tracks President Obama's Promises To The Nation
Reported by: Jackie Cutler
Wednesday, Jan 21, 2009 @07:28pm EST


FREDERICK, MD - President Barack Obama has been in office less than a week, and although his presidency is a sign of change, many are wondering how much change he'll really bring.His promises range from more jobs, to better education, to less loopholes for big corporations.In total he's made more than 500 promises, and now a website called politifact.com is helping you keep tabs on all of them.Using an Obameter, the website lists all of the promises, which ones he's kept as well as which promises he's broken.So far President Obama has only kept two: appointing a Republican to his cabinet and changing a capital gains tax law.Still, some in the four-state region say perhaps more important than keeping his promise is the energy his presidency brings.If you would like to keep track of President Obama's promises, click here.

I thought - Ok, that's great that people are actually tracking the promises made by a politician, especially one as influential and critical to the world economy as Obama.

But then I thought - Hmmm. How would I feel if there was a website tracking all MY promises??!!

How would YOU feel?

Good intentions don't build trust

You know the saying "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." What's interesting is when you really think about this. Why is this so?

With the ENP Wall® entente's trust model, I talk about making promises - both implicitly and explicitly. I also talk about expectations and needs. Good intentions, like "we'll catch up", "let's do lunch", "my new year's resolution is to stop smoking", "we should spend more quality time together" - whatever we say to make people or ourselves feel better, are actually promises we're making. They create expectations in people's minds, including our own, and they satisfy our core needs. So, we believe them. We trust them. Unless of course we know it's just talk, in which case we lose even more respect for them every time they say it, including losing respect for ourselves.

Even if the good intentions really were meant, if they don't eventuate, the wall comes crashing down or the trust is chipped away or cracked.

Good intentions don't build trust. Seeing them through, carrying them out, delivering on them - that's what builds trust!